The Writer's Curse: Conflict Avoidance

We need to address the true mess of our family dramas, including our own shame

Conflict! Photo by author.

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Hi everybody,

Officially, I’ve concluded my Conversation Continues series, but when I went searching for today’s mid-week inspiration for you, I found a quote by Charles Baxter which so perfectly dovetailed with last week’s conversation that I felt compelled to share it here.

In case you missed the first post, the basic idea is that memoirists often package their family stories as smooth, polished “luggage” rather than let the messier aspects of their historical “baggage” show:

Are You Writing Your Family History As Baggage or As Luggage?

In one of the chapters in his fabulous little book The Art of Subtext, Baxter addresses the same core concept in terms of conflict. He’s specifically concerned with fiction writers, for whom drama is the driving engine of plot, but I believe his advice more than extends to memoirists who shy away from exposing their families’ true “vulgarity.”

Here, then, is Baxter’s advice, boldface indicating the bits I find most resonant, followed by my own perspective on this topic and a passage from Paula Fox’s Borrowed Finery which exemplifies the value of Baxter’s message for memoirists—plus a Bonus Prompt just for you!

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