Writing at Our Wit’s End
How to create when everything feels unsettled, you can’t find calm or peace within yourself, and you're not sure which path will lead to a meaningful destination
“Writing from Wit’s End is confusing. Everything feels unsettled. Because I can’t find calm or peace within myself, I’m not sure which path to take to get out of Wits End. Most of what I put on paper seems to be a rambling mess of vexations. I don’t intend that as a criticism. Some of my best thoughts come from the immediate, unfiltered responses to what I witness.”
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Wit’s End*
by Katrina Barnes
At my wit’s end. You ever wonder what that phrase really means? How did it come to be? At what point —emotionally or physically— is a person at their wit’s end? How does one reach this point or destination? Is it a long journey or a short one? How bad do things have to get for you to say you are at your wit’s end?
For reference, I’ve decided to capitalize the first letters of the words, Wit’s End, because I now think of this emotion or feeling as a destination — like New York or New England. I’m a fiction writer, so I’m going to ask you to just go with it.
Is your wit supposed to refer to the end of witticism — the end of witty remarks? Or is it the end of some imaginary rope that you find yourself hanging from by your fingertips? Personally, I’m going with the “hanging by my fingertips” image. Imaginary or not, it feels very tangible when you reach it.
“It has taken me a long time to be able to give myself that kind of grace. To accept that — on occasion — I will end up at Wit’s End and not harangue myself for taking the trip.”
When I arrived at Wit’s End, I found myself standing up, arms raised, fists shaking, guttural sounds being discharged from my throat, all announcing that this phrase, Wit’s End, was true for me. I was ripped apart — shredded and at the end of any semblance of peace or patience I had left.
On top of that, there were feelings of frustration because this was not how I saw myself. I don’t usually feel so lost. Like most people, I get frustrated and, for a moment, I wonder what’s next — how do I resolve whatever the situation is. Then my mind shifts to finding a solution. This time, it wasn’t so easy to see my way back. I found myself circling Wit’s End, ready to buy property and move in.
I won’t tell you how I found myself at the end of my wit. Other than to mention that it was brought about by familial struggles — something I’m sure that you all can relate to. Some days helping out a loved one and trying to get your own bits and pieces done is a challenge. I’m confident that I’m not alone in reaching this place. You could find some other type of incident that has brought you to your version of Wit’s End, especially given the world we are currently living in.
After acknowledging that Wit’s End is a real location (at least in my mind), I decided to do a bit of research and find out what the phrase is supposed to mean. Feeling certain I couldn’t be the only one to have reached this destination, I thought I’d share my brief findings with you, fellow Wit Enders.
Wit’s end can be described as being frustrated, perplexed, extremely worried, or an uncertainty regarding what to do next. One origin of the phrase goes back to the Bible, — specifically the 1611 King James version (which as a preacher’s kid felt appropriate). We won’t go into whether you believe that King James ordered the manipulation of biblical text. Let’s just say that he wouldn’t be the first. In this case, the phrase is found in Psalms 107:27:
“They reel to and fro, and stagger like a drunken man, and are at their wits’ end.”
This verse discusses a wavering devotion to God. How we sometimes struggle to keep our faith and commitment. It suggests that when we reach the end of our knowledge, we must rely on faith. And that when we reach the end of our emotional limits, frustration arises because there is no clear path to follow.
So, using this information, Wit’s End is the emotional and intellectual end of our abilities, at that given moment. We find ourselves and possibly our faith challenged. Our expectations are unfulfilled. Our trust in how life should unfold is rattled.
Well, given that, let me do an assessment: Emotional limit – check; Frustration – check; End of knowledge on how to deal with the situation – check; At the point where you just can’t take anymore and want to scream – check. It’s confirmed. I am at Wit’s End. Now what?
Generally, in situations like this, once I’ve identified the cause, and given myself some grace then I work toward a solution. I don’t want to come across as a Pollyanna (those of you younger than Gen X might have to look that up. I’m not starting another spiral of research), but for me this is where faith comes in. Life isn’t always easy. There will be ups and downs. That’s true no matter how you approach life’s challenges.
My faith remains integral in dealing with being at Wit’s End. I remember sitting in the front seat of my father’s car, watching the trees go by and asking him about faith — what it meant and why it was hard for some to trust in the ability to manifest things into your life. I remember how he looked at me, smiled and took a breath before he asked me how I knew the wind was there. I looked back out of the window, and as I watched the leaves move in the trees, I replied, “because I see what it does.” He smiled wider and replied, “It’s the same thing with faith. You see the results of your faith, in your life and the life of others.” I carried that with me from that point on.
Intellectually and emotionally, I believe that the situation will work out. That’s not to say that I don’t struggle. I do. But I know I can’t stay there. I’m not one to live in doubts or frustration for too long. I make my resolution and get the heck out of Dodge. Is it easy? No — absolutely not. It has taken me a long time to be able to give myself that kind of grace. To accept that — on occasion — I will end up at Wit’s End and not harangue myself for taking the trip.
This state of being is real and as a writer, I have to ask myself: How does that manifest on the page? How do I put into words the things that brought me to Wit’s End?
Writing from Wit’s End is confusing. Everything feels unsettled. Because I can’t find calm or peace within myself, I’m not sure which path to take to get out of Wits End. Most of what I put on paper seems to be a rambling mess of vexations. I don’t intend that as a criticism. Some of my best thoughts come from the immediate, unfiltered responses to what I witness.
I’ve learned that part of the frustration comes from not being emotionally in a place where I can let go and let the words free. Being at Wit’s End can heighten the sense of vulnerability. It makes me want to retreat, to tuck in rather than expose myself. So, what do I do?
I go back to grace and faith. I take a breath and accept where I am. This allows me to recognize that there might be something for me to learn at that moment. I could tell myself it is useless. I could wallow and let frustration and doubt win. But that’s not faith. Nor is it giving grace to myself. Instead, I choose to believe that I will find something in my ramblings and write myself out of this anger and disappointment. Something I’ve had a lot of in this past year as I watch our country struggle with hatred, greed, and fear.
Yet, in holding onto faith and as I purge my thoughts, I somehow see something in the words. I see something take shape. I see a path out of Wit’s End. I see the lesson I am meant to learn or the message that waits in the ether for me to share with the world. Like a sculptor working a piece of stone until it reveals itself, I can take a step back and put my feelings, my angst, and pain into perspective. And write without expectation of it being anything more than the freedom to do it.
I remember sitting in the front seat of my father’s car, watching the trees go by and asking him about faith — what it meant and why it was hard for some to trust in the ability to manifest things into your life. I remember how he looked at me, smiled and took a breath before he asked me how I knew the wind was there.
In writing from this place, physically and emotionally, I try to see where things went wrong, acknowledge my own failings and move forward. Then I try — and try and sometimes try again — not to hold a grudge against the circumstances or people that brought me to the end of my wit. And when I’m able, rise above it.
Ah, there we are fellow Wit Enders. It would seem when we are at our wit’s end, in addition to the things mentioned above, we must then find another phrase or idiom that fits where we want to go from there. Originally, when I wrote this piece, I chose Rise Above It. Again, I’ll leave the research of that one to you. Lately, I’ve been leaning toward phrases like — “You Didn’t Listen, So Deal with Your Choices.”
Ultimately, Wit’s End — while it may have a temporary purpose — should not be a permanent place to reside. By choosing faith, writing, and searching for the next step forward, I’m moving from Wit’s End and traveling onward to the next state of being.
Destination: Rise Above. Now boarding. Here’s hoping I have enough faith for the fare. I hope we all do.
Katrina Barnes is a writer, editor, storyteller, and creative entrepreneur dedicated to expressing the color, rhythm, and resilience of culture—especially in the face of forces that seek to diminish it. Her work centers underrepresented voices and perspectives, with a primary focus on fiction that explores identity, community, and the boundaries of genre. She holds an MFA in Creative Writing from Goddard College and degrees in Communications and Social Sciences from the University of Washington. Whether on the page or in performance, her goal is to create work that reflects truth, challenges norms, and speaks to the heart of lived experience.
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*Originally published in The Writer in the World, Jun 22, 2016
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